Talent

This is the word tightrope. Now imagine

a man, inching across it in the space

between our thoughts. He holds our breath.

There is no word net.

You want him to fall, don’t you?

I guessed as much; he teeters but succeeds.

The word applause is written all over him.

Credits to Carol Ann Duffy

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To Kill A Person, Who Killed A Dog, Who Killed A Cat, Who Killed A Mouse, Who Killed An Ant

I don’t know if its just me, but I always seem to get epiphanys at night.  Take today for example, after a long day of embarking on a journey around Singapore, I’m back at home contemplating about my life and things more or less related to that.

At this point in time, my first H2 midyear paper starts in 13 days. So far the holidays have been kind to me. I’ve managed to survive a week. But now I’ve been plagued with sickness and all i can do is to seek solace and comfort in the fact that pre-university life will be over before I know it. Sometimes, well, most of the time, I wonder why I’m working so hard for. Is it for myself? My family? Perhaps, even for God? Or, on a more microscopic level, that paper qualification I receive at the end of my 2 year education stint? By profession, i am a student. Does that mean that it is my JOB to study? Surely not. I’m faced with problems daily and all i can do is to grip my rifle, sling it on my back, and trudge through the muddy waters of uncertainty. But without a doubt, there is a certain uncertainty that I will not make it back from this foreign land. But alas, try i must, otherwise I’d have to wallow in the regret, of not trying at all. Just as adventures are for the adventurous, and courage is for the courages, challenges are for those who dare to be challenged. And I certainly, dare to be challenged.

Today I realized that I am different than the people I know. Perhaps if I look in the mirror, the person staring back will not be me, because I’ve changed. When I was in 6, I punched a classmate of mine in primary school. That is the only memory I have of my life in primary 1. I used to be a crybaby back then. Little, petty scoldings from my parents or teachers and tears would start to form in my eyes and my eyes would get all sparkly until I’d blink. Then, a single teardrop would just fall off my cheek and onto the ground. When I was 11, I remember crying in front of my teacher who was trying very hard to get me on the right track. You see, when I was young, and sadly ignorant, I didn’t care about education because I still had the mentality that my parents would always be the ones looking after me, shielding me from the cruel world.

Fast forward to 2010. Looking back at me is this bespectacled, arrogant individual armed with his sardonic tongue and his bag of timetables and statistics. I realize that I have a knack for judging people. It’s like, after meeting someone, I immediately classify them under a certain category.

Idiot. Dumbo.

Stupid. Fool. Doltish Person.

Rival. Challenger. Threat.

Friend.

And it has made me feel superior to others and want things to be done the way I want it to because I believe that my way, is the best way. I couldn’t care less about how they felt, and because of this, I’ve hurt many people. And for this I apologize. I promise to be a better person, and I will give my all, to showing a better side of me.

I don’t know why I bothered to type this whole blog post. Maybe it’s my body telling me, that this is just the remedy I need for my sickness. A cure for my stoic-ness and indifference? Hopefully.

Perhaps this cocooned soul might turn into a butterfly afterall.

2010 Lit Retreat Short Skit

I had a literature retreat today. Hated most of it, but the lit play at the esplanade made my day. Anyway, this is the play cowritten by me and my classmate, Jin Yang, though i have to admit, i did most of the work 🙂

Title: Unrequited Love

Act 1 Scene 1

Kyle: Oh Emerald, you have no idea what you have done to my heart. The moment I set my eyes on you, i yearn, i feel, i lust for you! But alas, our families hate each other, and I cannot speak to you in public. I try and try to forget you, but you are like a whitener on the fabric of my life, brightening my every moment.

Emerald: But you are like a stain on the fabric of mine, and no matter how hard I try to scrub you away, you just won’t go away!

Act 1 Scene 2

Enter Kyle with Emerald standing at the balcony. It’s night.

Kyle: Oh sweet sweet Emerald, you are like the saccharine in candy that sweetens my life. Like the rain that drought-ridden countries yearn for. Like the jewel that thieves search for but never find. You are my life, my eternity, my bashert.

Emerald: *Blushes*

Kyle: You are a beautiful mystery, every note carved in musical history. A simile, a metaphor, words are not enough to entrust to you, trust that is true. I remember my first glimpse of your face, when i saw you smile, i smiled. I was straight blown away. Mesmerized by your beauty from your feet to your hair, how can one be so beautiful? I don’t understand…

Emerald: And are you my dark knight, in this dark night?

Kyle: I am whatever  you want me to be, my lady. We started of as perfect strangers. Boy meets girl. Infatuation to love. Now you’re my whole entire world. I humbly ask you you, to please accept this gift from me to you.

*Places gift on the ground*

Emerald: What’s that?

Kyle: My heart. For it is you, that gives this body life.

*Dogs barking*

Forgive me, my angel, for I must flee as i fear the dogs have been set upon me.

Emerald: Farewell…

—————————-

Credits: Epik High, MYK, Kero One

Nostalgia

A boy of around eight years of age was playing with the handle grips in the bus. As I sat directly opposite, I couldn’t help but notice how happy he was playing and how his face shone with happiness and glee. As he alighted from the bus with his mother, he gave me an innocent, untainted smile and held on to his mother’s hand.

I think I’m missing out a lot of the true meaning of life. My life should not revolve around studying and making people happy, its my life and i deserve to live it the way I want. This is my modus vivendi.

Did you miss me?

Hello my dear stalker fans who go to my blog everyday even though i dont update it regularly!

I did it! I finally did it! I lost my virginity!

After 1,2,3,4,5 days of not studying for my midterms, i decided to go to school to study! My day started off with a bad start, i overslept. You know, having crappy mornings usually spoil my entire day causing me to feel all maladroit and lazy but today was an exception 🙂

Anyway, i think i lost my flair for blogging, if i ever had any in the first place, so until i get used to sharing with you paparazzi my life story, it’ll be this unstructured and disorganized.

Oh yes, an interesting thing happened to me today on my way home. When i boarded bus 174 home, upon sitting down, i was greeted by the quarrels of a couple who were squabbling about how the other was not doing his/her part in the household and complaining about how stressed up he/she was. And that really got me thinking, it is without a doubt undoubtedly, without any certain uncertainty, that in a relationship, there will be arguments, fights, disagreements, but the married couple will slowly learn to compromise with one another, helping their relationship to grow. Like a bamboo, which stays underground in the virgin stages of its life, after a relationship has made it through all the thick and thin, the bamboo shoot will burst out of the ground, and grow magnificently high. The son was also crying whenever his mother shouted at her husband. Oedipus complex anyone? 🙂 In case you are totally dumbfounded on what the heck an Oedipus complex is, check it out here.

After school, i decided to check out the facilities at HometeamNS cause i decided to pick up swimming again to stay healthy and hopefully become fit again. The swimming pool was perpetually empty, save for a couple of people, a good sign! I also found a Reading/Study room there, and from the one second glimpse i had of it, i think its an acceptable place to study at 🙂

To end off my post, i’ll share with everyone a haiku: “The best way to attract attention, is to blast hit songs by SuperJunior, SNSD or SHINee.”

Oh and i hate volumetric analysis TTM

Not AFRAID

[Verse 1]
You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay em
But you wont take the sting out these words before I say em
Cause aint no way Im let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say em or do something I do it, I dont give a damn
What you think, Im doing this for me, so f-ck the world
Feed it beans, its gassed up, if it thinks its stopping me
Imma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me Im tearing down your balcony

I believe in myself, without a doubt, i believe in myself. Do you?

The Rhyme Game

Made this neat piece of work yesterday during a conversation with friends. Its not a masterpiece, but its certainly a masterpiece in the making!

Get of the block son
listen to your dad hon’
and get your sunblock when i rhyme.
“I’ll do so when i have time”
Cuz its eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.
“It’s all the same with the same kind!”
“Stop crapping up or i’ll force you to bind
but there’s nothing u can do with my mind.”
If you think so you are sadly behind
then you’re most probably at my BEHIND.
It all depends on what you will find
oh what you will find is but just a line
It all depends in this game of time.

We’re all heading full-speed ahead
that was what the slacker said
and he sounded like zubir said
just that there were things that he couldn’t add
like the fact that it made him sad
Everything doesnt add up. I guess my math teacher was just a substitute.
like how he said the power of 3 is just said as a cube
alas, he took that phrase out of youtube
if youtube my facebook i’ll tickle your myspace
if that is so, i’ll just rest my case
if you dont, taste the might of my mace.

You shine like summer skies
and i’m not trying to tell lies
you shine so much, burn and meet your demise
while i listen to your sorrowful cries
and eat my fries
sadistic as i was, i thought : do fries go well with rice?
With a dash of marinated lice?