Archive for the ‘ One-Liners ’ Category

The JC Lightbulb joke

I recently came across this joke regarding the students in the various Junior colleges. Its really really funny 🙂 Take a look!

Q: How many RJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 4 whole faculties. One to design the new bulb, one to
manufacture and test it out, one to write a proposal on it and one to market it.

Q: How many HCJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The whole school. To compete with RJC.

Q: How many VJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The whole school. One student to screw it in and the rest to cheer and wave flags and banners to give him/her support.

Q: How many NJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They can study without light.

Q: How many AJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They’re too busy trying to be one of the top 5 JCs.

Q: How many ACJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They’ll rather use all their money to employ YJC to do it for them.

Q: How many YJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Only one teacher to tell them what a light bulb is in the first place and to demonstrate how to change the light bulb.

Q: How many CJC students does it take to change a light bulb? (Hint: High abortion rate in the past)
A: They’ll prefer it to be darker.

Q: How many JJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Their physics is so bad that they made their macho male physics teacher cry.

Q: How many TPJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Would they even bother?

Q: How many SAJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They believe in praying for it.

Q: How many NYJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They are still using oil lamps.

Q: How many SRJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Huh, what litebarb?

Q: How many PJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Heck the light bulb lah, the principal would do something about the rightbarbs. Let’s do 300 jumping jacks for not wearing the proper school attire.

Q: How many MJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They are too busy trying to get promoted.

Q: How many IJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They are Innovians. They’ll find ways out of the dark.

Q: Who wrote all this?
A: A TJCian.

Q: How many TJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They think they are already very bright.

Feel free to comment if you don’t understand any.

Neversaynever Pt 1

” Do not lower your goals to the level of your abilities. Instead, raise your abilities to the height of your goals.” – Swami Vivekananda

“Take a lesson from the mosquito. It never waits for an opening; it makes one.” – Kirk Kirkpatrick

“A free lunch is only found in mousetraps.” – John Capuzzi

“Picture in your mind a sense of personal destiny.” – Wayne Oates

“You’ve got to get up every morning with determination if you’re going to go to bed with satisfaction.” – George Horace Lorimer

“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years” – Abraham Lincoln

“Don’t ask for an easier life; ask to be a stronger person.” – Karl Lim


Everyone has something in common- 24hours a day. Its how you use it that makes a difference.

Motivation

” The most essential factor is persistence – the determination never to allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come.”

James Whitcomb Riley

The Good, the bad, and the weird

I’m sure everyone has had their own experience with those lovey-dovey, overly mushy and cliche lines that are always said on Asian dramas, especially Korean ones.

The first time i was ‘exposed’ to this was 2 years ago when i inadvertently chanced upon an old X-Man video on youtube. Not the one with Jean gray and wolverine but the now ended Korean game show. In the game show, there was this segment where they would pit two celebrities against one another, usually of different sexes, and get them to say mushy lines until the other could no longer speak because he/she would have collapsed onto the floor in laughter. In the videos below, its from a section called ‘Of Course’ where the participants have to say ‘Of Course’ to whatever attack the competitor says in order to win.

Watching the videos two years later is certainly nostalgic. I guess i withstood the test of time because I still giggle like a fool whenever i watch them 🙂

So, i’m sure many of you had your fair share of mushy quotations, words, lines and whatnot. Do feel free to share them so we can all laugh like idiots 🙂 Here are some of my favourite ones.

God just called. He told me an angel is missing from heaven. It was you.

Though I may hate the hot weather during summer, I love the shining sun. Though I may hate the rainy season during Autumn, I love the falling leaves. Though I may hate the freezing climate during winter, I love the falling snow. Though I may hate the unforgiving world, I love only you.

If you felt like throwing up after reading them or watching the videos… ITS GREAT!