Archive for the ‘ Life ’ Category

Chinese Takeaway

Pause.

A rose blooms at my smile.

Flashes of light flood the streets.

A blind painter’s brushstrokes sweep the canvas,

Confidently

Creating another new masterpiece,

things normal people cannot even reproduce.

 

What are those little thingamajigs?

Oh right, it’s a camera.

 

A snapshot,

a click,

tada.

A moment in time captured,

history on a piece of film.

 

Alas, this will not do. This will not do at all.

It’s blur, unclear,

as if the particles are bleeding ink all over.

Is that a tentacle?

Oh, it’s a hand?

 

Without those palm sized pieces of paper,

I can still remember.

The thoughts,

emotions,

sentiments.

Something even a camera cannot even capture.

 

Yes I am angry. Furious even, that the photographs turned out this way. I suppose, when we win something, we have to lose something in the process.

Ps. I think I did a great job thinking of the title of this poem, it’s so fitting!

To Kill A Person, Who Killed A Dog, Who Killed A Cat, Who Killed A Mouse, Who Killed An Ant

I don’t know if its just me, but I always seem to get epiphanys at night.  Take today for example, after a long day of embarking on a journey around Singapore, I’m back at home contemplating about my life and things more or less related to that.

At this point in time, my first H2 midyear paper starts in 13 days. So far the holidays have been kind to me. I’ve managed to survive a week. But now I’ve been plagued with sickness and all i can do is to seek solace and comfort in the fact that pre-university life will be over before I know it. Sometimes, well, most of the time, I wonder why I’m working so hard for. Is it for myself? My family? Perhaps, even for God? Or, on a more microscopic level, that paper qualification I receive at the end of my 2 year education stint? By profession, i am a student. Does that mean that it is my JOB to study? Surely not. I’m faced with problems daily and all i can do is to grip my rifle, sling it on my back, and trudge through the muddy waters of uncertainty. But without a doubt, there is a certain uncertainty that I will not make it back from this foreign land. But alas, try i must, otherwise I’d have to wallow in the regret, of not trying at all. Just as adventures are for the adventurous, and courage is for the courages, challenges are for those who dare to be challenged. And I certainly, dare to be challenged.

Today I realized that I am different than the people I know. Perhaps if I look in the mirror, the person staring back will not be me, because I’ve changed. When I was in 6, I punched a classmate of mine in primary school. That is the only memory I have of my life in primary 1. I used to be a crybaby back then. Little, petty scoldings from my parents or teachers and tears would start to form in my eyes and my eyes would get all sparkly until I’d blink. Then, a single teardrop would just fall off my cheek and onto the ground. When I was 11, I remember crying in front of my teacher who was trying very hard to get me on the right track. You see, when I was young, and sadly ignorant, I didn’t care about education because I still had the mentality that my parents would always be the ones looking after me, shielding me from the cruel world.

Fast forward to 2010. Looking back at me is this bespectacled, arrogant individual armed with his sardonic tongue and his bag of timetables and statistics. I realize that I have a knack for judging people. It’s like, after meeting someone, I immediately classify them under a certain category.

Idiot. Dumbo.

Stupid. Fool. Doltish Person.

Rival. Challenger. Threat.

Friend.

And it has made me feel superior to others and want things to be done the way I want it to because I believe that my way, is the best way. I couldn’t care less about how they felt, and because of this, I’ve hurt many people. And for this I apologize. I promise to be a better person, and I will give my all, to showing a better side of me.

I don’t know why I bothered to type this whole blog post. Maybe it’s my body telling me, that this is just the remedy I need for my sickness. A cure for my stoic-ness and indifference? Hopefully.

Perhaps this cocooned soul might turn into a butterfly afterall.

Nostalgia

A boy of around eight years of age was playing with the handle grips in the bus. As I sat directly opposite, I couldn’t help but notice how happy he was playing and how his face shone with happiness and glee. As he alighted from the bus with his mother, he gave me an innocent, untainted smile and held on to his mother’s hand.

I think I’m missing out a lot of the true meaning of life. My life should not revolve around studying and making people happy, its my life and i deserve to live it the way I want. This is my modus vivendi.

Announcement

I just received my timetable for J1 today. I finish at 4.30pm on Monday, 3.30pm, 2pm, 5pm and 4.30pm on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday respectively. And to top it off, theres till CCA after lesson curriculum! And so, it pains me to say that i won’t be updating this blog actively now, for some things are certainly more important. However, i promise to update at least once a week (preferably on a weekend).

Cheers,

Karl

JJC Orientation 2010!

These past 3 days have been a blast. I know you all are anticipating my post on the orientation but my mind is in a total mess right now. Give me a few hours to consolidate and disgest my thoughts, experiences and feelings before i try to vomit out my words 🙂

Upcoming Events

  • Orientation Camp from Thursday to Saturday

This will just a short post because nothing really blog-worthy has been happening. Everyone in J1 will be allocated into their respective classes according to their subject combination tomorrow at 2pm. I hope i get into the course i want to. If i don’t, hopefully my appeal to get into biomedical science in SP will be accepted. If all else fails, i don’t know what to do 😦

H2 Sciences are freaking interesting! H2 Physics has Nuclear physics and Quantum physics, H2 Chemistry has organic chemistry! 🙂 Lecturers keep reminding us to work hard because we need a minimum of a BBB/B to get into local universities. And i heard around 10% of J1’s in every neighborhood JC will not be promoted. Also, only 10% get into the course of their choice. Scarrrrrry.

I just realized that all the course I’m interested in in NUS require an AAA/A save for psychology which is a AAB/B. I better mentally prepare myself in case i don’t get into either one of them…

Like i said earlier, nothing much has been happening so I’ll most likely update only when i return from camp, which will probably be on Saturday afternoon. Until then! 🙂

Ps. For the people have the a spare A Math textbook or don’t need it anymore, could you lend/give it to me? Pretty please with a cherry on top 🙂

Who are we?

Even though we can see, we are blind to the problems that the world faces today; poverty, natural disasters, global warming and civil war. We pretend we don’t see the poor man or woman dressed in tattered clothing we see on the street by the dustbin, trying to find aluminum cans or cardboard to afford even the simplest of meals. We do nothing but look and forget.

We are blind

Even though we can hear, we are oblivious to the cries of the people. Those who are in pain, abused, hungry and poor. We cast away those who are labeled by social stigma, such as the mentally ill, ex-prisoners. We ignore the pleas of people who need our help, because we are are more important, because we are more virtuous, because we are better then them. We walk away from them, in their time of distress.

We are deaf

Even though we can move, our hearts remain unmoved by all the earthshaking events that occur in the world today. Earthquakes in Haiti, the global recession, Civil violence in sub-saharan countries. We remain rooted to our beliefs that we deserve the center of attention, the spotlight because we have it harder then them. We only move when we feel like it, when we can gain from it, when we can prosper from it.

We are lame


Who are we?

Are we

Defenders of peace?

Bearers of light?

Messengers of hope?

Warriors of justice?

OR

Are we

Advocates of sin?

Bringers of affliction?

Antagonists in the story of life?

People, the question is not ‘Who are we?’ but ‘Who am I?’ Who am I to not be a standout in life? Who am i to not be a non-conformer and make the difference in the world today? Who are you not to be?

Looking back at the life I’ve been living so far, I’ve realized that although i truly privileged to be born a normal and healthy homo-sapien, i am still blind, deaf and lame. I need to stop being proud and embrace humility. I need to stop being so despondent, so use my time properly for the good of the community.

I need to truly open my eyes and see the world as it is, in all its HD glory. To open my ears, and listen. To take action.